The Voodoo that You Do
by OriginalPippie
Summary: Some strange, unexplained things are happeing to Bam and his friends. What's the cause of it?


Bam's eyes popped open and he shot up in his bed. He threw his blanket off of him and his leg jerked.

"What the fuck?"

He scratched the back of his head in confusion and then his hand came back and then smacked his neck a couple times as if someone forced him to hit himself. He looked around the room in bewilderment. Bam placed his feet on the floor and stretched before standing up.

Staring down at the floor, he shook his head, trying to tell himself that everything was his imagination. However, he had a feeling that the rest of the day was going to be just as weird, if not weirder.

Everyone was downstairs by the time Bam got down there. Things were going pretty normal for a while, even as they all talked. Bam was in the middle of telling a story to someone when suddenly his arm flew up into the air. It came back down and then his hand reached over and smacked Ryan across the face.

"What the hell was that for?" Ryan asked as he rubbed his cheek where Bam hit

"I…I don't know. I didn't mean it, really."

They all resumed their conversation like nothing happened. At one point during the conversation, Raab was walking by Bam, to go into the next room. Bam kicked Raab in the back of the leg right as he passed him. Raab turned around and glared at Bam.

"Bam, what's your fucking problem?"

"Nothing! I swear I don't mean to do these things."

"Right, right Bam. Next you'll tell us that someone's controlling you, right?"

"I…"

The talking, joking and laughing continued and they witnessed even more of this weird behavior in Bam. He would make strange, jerky, sudden movements and even make Tourette-like outbursts.

"Bam are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just uh…"

Bam reached over towards Novak, placed his hands on the side of Novak's face and pulled him in for a wet kiss. The two of them pulled away just as quickly as the kiss had happened. Everyone else stared at bam in disbelief.

"Dude, you _sure_ you're all right?"

"Guys I swear I'm not doing any of this. Something's controlling me."

"Yeah right! You actually expect us to believe that something's controlling you?"

"You're acting crazier than Dico on a daily bases."

"I… you have to believe me. I have no control of myself. Something IS controlling me!"

"Maybe you're right, Bam." Joked Dico "Jenn recently broke up with you, maybe she built a little Bam voodoo doll just to torture you."

Everyone except for Bam began to laugh. Bam turned away to leave the room, but he pivoted on his heel back towards Dico. His arm reached out and grabbed Dico by the back of his neck.

"Dude let go!"

"I'm sorry but I…" His arm dropped, letting Dico go, and then it came up again and smacked Dico repeatedly in the back of the head

Dico pushed Bam away.

"What the fuck, Bam? You're insane!"

"I'm not insane! I'm telling you; something is fucking controlling me!"

The others looked at Bam and saw that he perhaps was telling the truth after all, and then they looked at Dico.

"Maybe you were right about that voodoo doll thing." Ryan said with a low voice.

"I… yeah." Dico said as he took a step back with an almost ashamed expression toward Bam.

"Sorry Bam."

"You guys, what am I supposed to do about this?"

"How are we supposed to know?"

Bam turned away from them and headed down to the pirate bar. Once he got to the last step he noticed a shadow on the far wall.

"Someone down here?" He called out toward the shadow

He began to approach the shadow and saw that it went around the corner. Then he peeked around the corner and saw a girl sitting at a desk writing.

She looked to be about twenty or so, with short brown hair and grayish-blue eyes that were fixed on the paper which was before her on the desk. She seemed to be hard at work at what ever it was that she was writing.

"Excuse me?" Bam asked.

"Am I interrupting something?"

She looked up and was surprised when she saw him.

"Oh! Bam! I didn't think that any one knew that I was down here."

"Who are you, and how did you get into my house?"

"Well, a lot of people know me as Pippie, and I'm always where ever you are."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I've been writing stories about you for a while now. And every time I've written one of my stories I've been right there with you wherever you were."

"So everything that's been going on in my life lately, all the injuries and illnesses, pregnancies, homosexual relationships and confessions of love, insanity… vampirism… all of that was written by you?"

"Well not all of it. I'm not the only one who's been writing these stories. But I'm the one who started it all."

"So you're the one I have to thank." He said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"So that also means that everything weird that's been happening to me today was written by you?" He pointed down to the paper in front of Pippie.

"THAT'S the voodoo doll!"

"Yeah pretty much."

"I don't fucking believe it!"

"I'm sorry, Bam, but that's what fanfic writers do. They put their subject's life in their own hands and do whatever they want with it."

"Well cut it out! I can't take it any more! Did you know that I almost killed Dunn with my Hummer?"

"Sorry, but I can't do that. And yes I do know that, I'm the one who wrote that story, duh."

"Why can't you write good things happening in my life for once?"

"What would be the fun in that?"

Bam shook his head and turned away from Pippie.

"Fine. Continue having fun writing your stories about me. I guess I can't stop you." He started walking away

"That I will. Oh by the way, do you want to know what happens next in "Life Partner"?"

"Hell no!" He said as he reached the stairs

"Ok! Your loss!" She looked back at the paper on the desk

"Now… where was I?"


End file.
